Underneath the Christmas Tree
by Iremat
Summary: Ever thought what would happen if Jiriaya, the great Ero Sennin of Konoha became a father? Well...read and find out
1. Credits

A few words before you read the fanfic.  
  
Ok. The idea of this fic was not nursed by me. It came from a great writer, who also edited my fic (so far) Aksarah. So, big big thanks to Aksarah for taking her time to edit this story, develop the plot with me, and encourage me to go on writing it, for I wouldn't have EVER even dreamed of doing something like this without her. Also thank you (Aksarah) for all those awesome funny comments you made!.  
  
I suppose I should put the disclaimer here, but honestly if anyone actually is stupid enough to BELIEVE that I claim to own any of the characters (except for Yanagi and the whole Desert Orchid festival and the hidden tournaments which came from an LJ rp) than they deserve to be stoned to death because I DON'T!! Get it right, people. Kishimoto-sensei is the genius. Not me!  
  
Also, HUGE thanks to Emma for helpin' me out with this SOOO many times and not thinking that I am a totall dweeby dork!! Which I am, but that's a whoooooole other story.  
  
Thanks to everyone who read it and laughed at it.even though I'm kind of stupid and cannot write funny stories. Why? I don't know. Well anyhow. Without further ado, lets get on with the fic.  
  
Uhm. This fic isn't hentai or anything terribly offensive. There are certain words like nipples and breasts. Hopefully all the 13 year old boys and girls can deal with such horrific profanity, and dirty garbage influencing their young minds.  
  
Onward!!! 


	2. The Morning After

Chapter One.  
  
Morning after.  
  
He opened his eyes and groaned. The light was too bright. Sand's mornings were always too bright. Of course. It was the desert. He rolled to his side and grabbed his head. It was throbbing. God. Just how much DID he have to drink, last night? He looked around the room. A simple, large bed out of red wood with a canapy above it, two windows on both sides of the wall and two night stands. Something was painfully familiar in this scene. He turned his head to someone who was asleep, huddled in a blanket, curled up into a tight ball. His hands began to shake.  
  
"Please..don't let it be Orochimaru. please don't let it be Orochimaru" he prayed inside "God.I will never forgive myself if the same thing happens twenty years later..Again.God..I should give up on drinking sake."  
  
He pulled the cover down, just enough to unearth a bunch of bright red hair. He uttered a loud sigh of relief and immediately grabbed his head.  
  
"Damn it." He growled. "How much DID I drink last night?"  
  
It took him a while to realize that he was completely naked. He scanned the room and saw a pile of clothing right on the floor. Some of it was his.and some of it wasn't. Still a bit shaky, he sat up and looked closer. To his relief there was a fiery red, lacy bra and panties to match. He grinned to himself.  
  
"I..Great Jiriaya. seemed to have scored again."  
  
He gloated with pride for a moment.  
  
"But.with..who?"  
  
He rolled over and propped himself on his elbows and began peeling off the cover gently, trying not to wake her up.  
  
"It has to be a her" Jiriaya whispered to himself "Judging by the size of that bra.."  
  
"Good mornin'".  
  
He blinked and realized himself face to face with her. She smirked.  
  
"What's the matter?"  
  
Slowly a sinister grin spread across Jiriaya's face.  
  
"Nothing." He answered as a pair of deeply green eyes followed his every movement, her eyebrow cocked.  
  
Her name was Uta Yanagi, and she was simply the hottest Sand Nin he has ever laid his eyes upon. Yanagi was a strange girl. Tomboyish, crude and violent. She drank sake like a man, swore, smoked and bet. She was twenty- six, a genius Sand Jounin, entrusted with the number one Sand Team, Gaara, Temari and Kankuro. She was tough. Somehow, she reminded him of Tsunade, minus the horrendously large clievage. But Yanagi was blessed enough for him to feel attracted to her. She sat up, blanket uncovering her naked, well trained body. Jiriaya's mouth almost began to water. She smiled and leaned over to give him a good morning kiss. Yanagi had three strange scars on her face. But they didn't take anything away. In fact, they added more to her character. She smiled and hopped off the bed. Jiriaya watched the gravity work it's miracle on her breasts.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
She was caught off guard with that question.  
  
"Whadaya mean?"  
  
He raised his head, and rested it on his palm. The sun was chiseling out the toned forms of her body, her six pack abs, her strong legs. Her body, just like any kunoichi, had a few scars, but again, that didn't ruin the view. Jiriaya licked his lips.  
  
"Well. a naked girl in the middle of the bedroom. I must ask her where she's going."  
  
She rolled her head back and laugh.  
  
"Take a shower."  
  
He watched her hips sway as she walked away. Her back was pretty. Soft, supple skin and a music note tattooed on her right shoulder. That was a symbol of her last name. Uta.  
  
It was hot, steamy and really wet. That's how she usually liked it. Yanagi took showers at scalding temperatures. She closed her eyes, relaxing as the hot streams bombarded her well tanned skin. She rubbed the back of her neck, reached for a shampoo and squeezed a small amount onto her palm. The liquid was light purple and smelled like blueberries. She LOVED blueberries even though they were so hard to find. She brought her hand to her head and worked it into a rich lather. Yanagi kept her hair short. Simply because it was unruly and she didn't feel justified spending two extra hours on her hair just to brush it. She'd rather sleep. She washed the lather out with her eyes tightly clothes and ran her hand through her hair.  
  
" God.how much did I drink last night" She thought to herself as she lathered up her sponge. "At least I remember who he is.which is a lot more than what I could say for the last two encounters."  
  
She remembered the first time he approached her. She was watching the hidden tournaments, a fight of a hidden leaf gennin against a hidden sand gennin.  
  
"Excuse me, Miss.is this seat taken?"  
  
She smiled to herself. Of course he was a LOT older. She had a slight idea of how MUCH older. But she didn't know for sure. It was a rule of a very bad etiquette to ask someone's age in Sunagakure. Besides. She always knew she had a horrible weakness for older men. Was it because she grew up an orphan, with her sensei being much older than she, and her admiring him from such a young age? There was a reason behind the fact that she has never called Gakusha sensei her father. Simply because he wasn't. He was her sensei. But that never stopped her from admiring him.  
  
And Jiriaya aged VERY well. He looked no older than 30, but she imagined he was way older than 40. And again. She didn't want to ask. It was none of her business.  
  
"Let see."  
  
As the memory of last night returned to her, Yanagi barely held back a gasp. She wore a KIMONO!  
  
"Jesus." She swore right after that word "Just how much DID I like this guy? Wearing a Kimono?"  
  
"Yanagi cha..er..san..you look quite lovely."  
  
"Lovely? I look like a total idiot."  
  
Jiriaya snickered.  
  
"Not true. You look great."  
  
She cringed and stopped rubbing her shoulder.  
  
"Did I blush?"  
  
She shook her head and went back to lathering herself up.  
  
"Remind me to pummel you to the ground, Yanagi."  
  
"Roger" she responded to herself. "Although.."  
  
Suddenly someone knocked.  
  
"Go away, Itio." Yanagi growled. "I'm taking a fucking shower."  
  
The door opened.  
  
"I don't know who that is, but I, Jiriaya, am not jealous. Simply because I am a great, great Sennin."  
  
Yanagi laughed again.  
  
"Saaa.Jiriaya-sama. I'm taking a shower."  
  
"Mmm..I need one too."  
  
The tea pot whistled and stopped, as Yanagi removed it from the stove. She was fully dressed in her usual uniform. She put the dirty sake cups from the table in the sink next to the little stove. Jiriaya sat on the chair, across from the window and waited for her to serve him. She placed some tea cups before him and sat down.  
  
"You know.for the life of me, I can't remember what happened last night." Jiriaya said carefully. Her green eyes watched him and than became two little arches.  
  
"I don't either.But.judging from all these dirty dishes. I say I tried to drink you under the table."  
  
Jiriaya laughed.  
  
"Oh yes. That must have been it. Although. I wish I remembered. I usually can."  
  
She smiled and picked up the tea cup.  
  
"I usually can too. but we really overdid it with the sake last night."  
  
He laughed. She liked the sound of his laughter.  
  
"Yeah. Maybe next time.we'd go easier on the sake, ne, Yanagi-san?"  
  
Her eyes narrowed. Given her quick and violent temper, Jiriaya went pale for a split second.  
  
"Next..time?"  
  
He swallowed hard and nodded.  
  
"I mean..if you.want to..that is..I mean.a date..I mean.we'd go out to dinner."  
  
Her eyes softened immediately.  
  
"I'd love to."  
  
Jiriaya sent thanks to heaven. He really needed to get out of here before he screwd something up and ended up in a hospital bed. He'd much rather end up in that redwood bed, again. 


	3. Lantern Parade

Chapter Two.  
  
Lantern Parade.  
  
Sunagakure turned really pretty at night. Many Orchid Dotted Lanterns were put up to brighten up the streets of the Hidden Sand Village. Orchid Lanterns, besides being incredibly pretty created this irresistible romantic mood that swept the visitors off their feet. Natives, used to the magic charms of the Lantern Lights simply brushed the whole romantic mood aside. Yet this time it was different. The village was full of strangers. All these nins, guests, merchants, who gathered at Sunagakure for the Hidden Tournaments became simply drunk with the whole Orchid Ordeal. Of course, tons and tons of Orchid sake served by generous Kage didn't help a bit.  
  
They met in a small restaurant this time. It was evening of a long, and tiring day that they spent apart, doing whatever. Yanagi had a training session with Temari and Kankuro, whom she worked ragged, while Jiriaya had an awfully tiring day of flirting with these positively delicious looking Jounins. Both women were Council Members. The day was long and tiring, because in the end, the two women simply laughed and left.  
  
"Sennin, we will see you later" One waved as she walked away, swaying her hips. Strangely enough she had the same sway in her walk as did Yanagi. He arched his chest forward at the thought of the kunoichi. It's been quite a long time since he.  
  
Yanagi looked a little estranged. She completely ignored the Lantern parade going on in the middle of the street, right across from the restaurant. Jiriaya on the other hand, kept on glancing, wondering how come this woman could totally ignore something so.what was that word? They brought sake and Yanagi's mood perked up. She smiled at the waiter and allowed Jiriaya to pour some sake into her cup.  
  
"Uhm..Yanagi san.."  
  
Deep green eyes darted towards him.  
  
"Mmm??"  
  
"You seem a little.er.distracted."  
  
She sipped a little bit of her sake and cocked her eyebrow at his words.  
  
"M? Do I really?"  
  
Jiriaya nodded again.  
  
"Is something the matter?"  
  
"Well you see..I've got this rash."  
  
Jiriaya's eyes popped out of his sockets. Yanagi rolled her head back and laughed.  
  
"Ano..Jiriaya-sama. I don't have a rash. I was just teasing you."  
  
Jiriaya frowned, slightly angered and still a bit shaken.  
  
"Saa. That's not a nice joke to play on a Legendary Sennin, Yanagi-san."  
  
She smiled and her eyes became two little arches again.  
  
"Yes. But I just thought it'd be funny. Besides. You seemed a little too nervous."  
  
"You were spacing out. No offense, but with a woman like you every man needs to be thankful for every second he's still alive. I was planning a hasty exit, just in case."  
  
Yanagi laughed again. He liked the sound of her laugh.  
  
"Yanagi san?"  
  
After a few cups of sake Jiriaya became a little more brave. He reached out and touched her hand, resting across the table by her plates. She looked at his hand and than at him. They were both a little more loose now. Alchohol did wonders for those first date jitters. But wait. this wasn't a first date.  
  
"Yes, Jiraya-sama?"  
  
"I was thinking..maybe you'd like to go see the Lantern Parade. I would hate it if it has ended and we didn't get a chance to see it together."  
  
"Ended? Oh don't worry. It won't be over for a LONG, LONG time."  
  
Jiriaya arched his eyebrow.  
  
"Why do you say that?"  
  
"Well, we've been sitting here for the past two hours and it hasn't stopped. These idiots do this every year. They do a few laps around the village before they collapse from total exhaustion. They grab a lantern and march until a sunrise. And we haven't yet figured out why."  
  
"Would you like to go see it anyway?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
He paid for the dinner. Yanagi handed the waiter tips and they walked outside, arm in arm. Of course, she wasn't hanging. She was just holding him there so they wouldn't loose each other in a crowd. It was a sight to see. Lanterns, all shapes, colors and brightness danced in the crispy desert night. Jiriaya totally forgot how cold it really got in Sunagakure. Now, despite all the alcohol circulating in his system he felt his nipples getting hard. Yanagi seemed completely indifferent to the temperature changes and Jiriaya sulked. He couldn't help but mourn the fact that Yanagi's nipples were native to this harsh environment.  
  
They stood there for good half an hour, gawking at the procession. Suddenly, Jiriaya felt nervous. That was not good. Each time Jiriaya felt nervous it meant he was getting sobered up again. He looked at his arm. Yanagi was still holding on to it and he sighed with relief. He isn't dead yet. That's good. He scolded himself at the idea he had, hoping to.what was that word?. a woman who obviously didn't care for the silly light show. He began loosing the feeling in his toes and than his fingers. He wanted to say something to her, but his self preservation instinct held him back.  
  
"Jiriaya-sama" she leaned so close to him. She smelled like blueberries. Her soft breath tickled his skin.  
  
"Mmmmm??" He replied, trying not to get his teeth chatter.  
  
"I'm cold.would you like to come home with me?"  
  
"This isn't such a bad date" he thought to himself.  
  
"Of course. I shall escort you, Yanagi san. A weather such as this is very..unhealthy.." he uttered out loud.  
  
Inside her house was really warm, and with time feelings returned to his toes and fingers as they thawed. He looked around while Yanagi made herself busy bringing in the Sake and some light food. Her apartment was decorated beautifully.  
  
"Yanagi san?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"I must give my compliments to your decorator." He smiled. Women always fell for compliments to their taste.  
  
"Oh. Well thank you. I'm sure He'll be very happy to hear YOU in particular say that."  
  
"He?" Jiriaya froze.  
  
"Well yes. My brother did this. He's gay. I could never match his particular taste."  
  
Jiriaya shut his eyes tightly, trying to ward off the images. Somehow, every time the word gay was mentioned the images of naked Orochimaru in the same bed, flooded his mind. She served the sake and sat right across from him with her legs crossed. Jiriaya took a cup and poured it into his mouth to wash away the horrible imagery.  
  
"Tell me about yourself, Yanagi-san?"  
  
She followed his example.  
  
"Nothin' to tell. I'm an orphan. Was trained to be an anbu. Became a demon tamer. Same ol' story everyone knows."  
  
Maybe talking didn't work very well. Or maybe it worked well enough because pretty soon they were at the same place they left this morning. The same red wood bed with a canapé hanging above it. But this time, they weren't as drunk. Jiriaya smirked to himself, as he watched Yanagi undress.  
  
"I am finally getting good at this. dating business. This will be a good few issues for the Come Come Paradise. She has a nice set of.wow."  
  
Yanagi finally got rid of all the bothersome clothing and crawled into the bed. She didn't quite remember what happened the night before but at this particular moment it didn't really matter. Their lips connected and she felt Jiriaya's hand squeezing her chest.  
  
"Was he really this forward last night too?" she thought to herself "Probably even worse. I was so damn drunk."  
  
"You know..Yanagi-san. you are a very pretty creature" Jiriaya muttered, smiling happily, staring at her from the bottom. She grinned in her usual, Yanagi manner.  
  
The night finally weaned to morning and they managed to settle down and finally sleep. Yanagi frowned remembering that tomorrow she had to get up relatively early. She had anbu duties. She wanted to sleep a lot more but she guessed that good sex was a lot better than good sleep. She closed her eyes and drifted asleep. Just in time to miss hearing Jiriaya mumble as he slept.  
  
"No.Tsunade..I couldn't.not here..Everyone's looking..You want to do what??? No..wait.you can't..That's my very special private place." 


	4. It was a week before Christmas

Chapter Three.  
  
The blond kunoichi shifted uneasy. She looked up at the sky and than back at the gates they were guarding.  
  
"Oi, Godo, where the hell is Yanagi?"  
  
The one called Godo turned around and stared at her for a moment. He was a tall man, massively built. His hair was long, green and braided. On the right of his jacket, the stitching identified him as a team captain.  
  
"Didn't you tell her she had a duty this morning?"  
  
Godo frowned.  
  
"Yeah. I told her. She knows. Why do you always think it's my fault?"  
  
"Cuz it usually IS your fault." Chimed another kunoichi with light, light red hair gathered in short three pony tails. Team captain glared at her.  
  
"I should get extra pay for all the abuse I take from you people, especially Yanagi" he grumbled quietly. "I told her. Just like I told you two, idiots. Shimori and Gemaro are lucky to be on a mission so they don't have to put up with this constant nagging." He sighed and turned his face outwards, to the burning sands of the surrounding desert. "You women."  
  
"Us women.. what?"  
  
Familiar voice forced the three of them to turn around. Yanagi waved her hand at her teammates.  
  
"Gomen. Kage sent for me this morning." She handed Godo the scroll. "I suppose they wanted a report on the progress of the Kage's brats."  
  
Yanagi jumped down and took her place between the other two women. Godo smirked to himself.  
  
"Either that. or you were up too late with that mystery man, I saw you with at the restaurant last night."  
  
Yanagi froze, as if someone hit her over the head. Godo smirked and continued in a sickening sweet tone.  
  
"Is that your new boyfriend, Yanagi-chan???"  
  
Yanagi made a face.  
  
"He isn't my boyfriend you big over grown bafoon. He's just." She stopped for a moment. "He's just a .. friend that happened to take me out to dinner."  
  
"A friend that you screwed right afterwards?" Godo had one bad quality in his character. He didn't know when to stop.  
  
Yanagi flushed with anger.  
  
"No! I did..And since when is MY private life became a public property? Hmmmm???"  
  
"Since he's a Leaf Nin."  
  
"And?"  
  
"That's treason."  
  
Yanagi rolled her eyes and than rolled up her sleeve with an annoyed look.  
  
"Oh don't even start this with me, Godo. Everyone and their mother know about you and every single kunoichi from all the other villages we visited on missions. You're like the stork, you never stop. I'm still surprised your wife is completely clueless. Jiriaya is.just someone who's pleasant to be around. That's all. Sheesh. Why do I have to explain to you whom I sleep with? What are you, my mother?"  
  
She rolled up the second sleeve and got on the very ledge of a tall wall.  
  
"Now are we gonna do this thing or not?"  
  
~~~ about a week or so later~~~~  
  
The Hidden Sand tournament was near its climax. The preliminaries and the qualifications were done with, and now it was all about the finals. The natives of Sunagakure have gotten really tired of all these people waltzing around on the village's streets. They wanted it to be over, the sooner the better. This whole business has been dragging on for SOOOOOO long. Of course, the constant flow of money really hepled brighten the mood, but everyone wanted to be home for Christmas.  
  
It was a week or so before Christmas. The whole Sunagakure was getting ready. The malls were crowded and the people tended to get violent RIGHT before that very special time of the year. The police force, or rather the anbu force had to be doubled, if not tripled and most sensei's were pulled off of their teams to perform their anbu duties as the Kazekage has instructed them. Team One was an exception though. Temari was being trained to be a Kage, and that was very important that the three of them got as much practice as they possibly could. Yanagi's job was a lot easier, given how she didn't have to divide herself into two different parts.  
  
"Hmmm. It's Christmas time. Does it snow, in Sunagakure?" Jiriaya asked, as they stood on a bridge watching the sun dip below the horizon line.  
  
"No. Does it snow in Konoha?  
  
"Yes. It snows a LOT right before Christmas too. It's a shame I'm going to be stuck here."  
  
She chuckled.  
  
"Yeah. Perhaps. Who knows, maybe the tournament would be over before than and you could still make it home."  
  
He looked over at her. This has been bothering him for the longest time now. It's been a few weeks since they began.well.you know. And it still hasn't stopped. But their relationship never became more than casual sex every other night. Yanagi never seemed upset or bothered by the horrendous amount of attention he showered just about every other pretty woman in the village. She seemed content with what was going on. Of course, Jiriaya had many relationships before. He was the famous Ero Sennin, aka peeping tom of Konoha. But all of those always ended up in a one night stand.  
  
"Yanagi san?"  
  
She turned her face towards him.  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"I'm just wondering..You know that as soon as the tournament ends, I'll have to go..back home..right?"  
  
Her eyes became little arches.  
  
"Yes. I know. I hope you get there safely. There's been a lot of suspicious activity going on, with Orochimaru attending the hidden tournaments and all."  
  
Jiriaya nursed his lip. He didn't quite know how to ask her what was troubling him. He. really didn't want her to get an idea that he wanted a relationship with him. He stared at the sky that was turning bright, beautiful colors.  
  
"Don't worry. I don't want a relationship out of you. I'm not good at relationships. In fact, I'm the worst person to have one with. It'll be best if you leave after the tournament and we don't see each other for a long, long time, Jiriaya sama."  
  
That caught him by surprise.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Well. I usually tend to get bored. And my interest just disappears. Although you ARE the longest interest I ever had in a man. but still. I think once the tournament is over it'd be better if we just went our separate ways."  
  
Jiriaya uttered a loud sigh of relief.  
  
"Yanagi san..don't take that as me saying I don't like you."  
  
"Damn. She's really hot." He thought to himself. "And I do like her.. But. I don't like her THAT much.."  
  
She laughed.  
  
"I know that you like me. That's not the point. The point is, I'm not going to settle down with a man. Ever. I'd be the worst wife or a mother. And we'll both look quite stupid when one of us will looses interest, ne?"  
  
He nodded. She brought up quite an interesting point.  
  
"You speak wise words, Yanagi-san."  
  
She grinned in her usual manner.  
  
"Of course."  
  
"And damn, do you have a rack on you or what.." He thought to himself as they left the bridge to go wonder around the village, emerging into different types of the conversations. Eventually, all roads led to Yanagi's little house and to the redwood bed with canapé above it. And eventually, all evenings ended up the same. Pile of clothes on the floor and a mountain of sake dishes on the kitchen table.  
  
~~~~~ Later that week~~~~~~~  
  
Yanagi stared at the calendar, absent minded. She didn't really know what she was looking for. In fact, she didn't even remember WHY she came to this kitchen in the first place.  
  
"Why the hell am I here?"  
  
She leafed through the pages, trying to get on track with her forgotten thoughts.  
  
"Hmm.This must be important..but what was it? No..I don't have the anbu duties today..I had a training session earlier.What the HELL is it?"  
  
An interesting pattern of circles attracted her attention as she leafed through the previous months.  
  
"June 25. July 26. August 25. September 27."  
  
She stopped. Yanagi stopped leafing through the pages.  
  
"Wait.I think."  
  
Her eyes enlarged as she frantically began searching through the past two months.  
  
"November.." There was no circle on that month. "December" no circle there either. She looked up, calculating the result of this discovery in her head.  
  
"OH MY FUCKING GOD! I'm LATE!!!"  
  
Immedeately her face went from calm to enraged.  
  
"I'm GOING TO FUCKING KILL HIM!!!" 


	5. He loves me, He loves me not

Chapter Four.  
  
Yanagi was pacing back and forth like an angry tigress. She has probably traveled back and forth enough to go around the world six or seven times. She bit her lip, calculating her newfound knowledge in her head.  
  
"Yanagi, would you stop this pacing, you're giving me a headache." Itio barked at her. She glared.  
  
"Shut up, Itio. I'll do whatever the hell I want in my house."  
  
"Well, go someplace else to pace. It's annoying. And it ruins your posture."  
  
She shot him another glare. If only looks could kill. Itio rolled his eyes and placed down his tea cup, full of hot tea.  
  
"All right, all right. You don't need to be such a jerk about everything. What's wrong?"  
  
She bit her lip.  
  
"Nothin' is wrong. I'm just angry. An' you're in the wrong place at the wrong time."  
  
"Don't lie to me, Yanagi. I can tell whether something is wrong."  
  
She stopped.  
  
"Can you now?"  
  
He nodded and picked up the tea cup.  
  
"Now, you don't need to be brave if that heartless idiot broke up with you. You can cry. It always makes it all better."  
  
Yanagi's jaw dropped.  
  
"Ya know, for once in your life, I thought you were actually gonna say somethin' smart. An' guess what? I was wrong. Again. Shut up Itio, you're breakin' my concentration."  
  
"No need to be crude about it. You're not the first one it happened to. It happens to the best of us." Itio sighed with regret, as Yanagi rolled her eyes.  
  
"Oh get of yer high horse, you idiot. No one broke up with anyone, k? That isn't the damn problem."  
  
"Well what is than?"  
  
She sighed and rubbed her forehead.  
  
"I dunno. Now SHUT up. You're breakin' my train of thought."  
  
Suddenly she felt her early breakfast knocking on the doors to her throat. Yanagi made a face and swallowed. Itio's eyes carefully watching her enlarged.  
  
"Oh my gosh, Yanagi. are you all right?"  
  
She covered her mouth with her hand and frantically searched for the bathroom.  
  
"OH my god ."  
  
She lost her breakfast half way down to the restroom. It was a disgusting sign of weakness but she couldn't hold it in anymore. Yanagi fell to her knees and coughed as the she emptied the contents of her stomach. Itio stood behind her, watching in horror.  
  
"Oh my god..Yanagi."  
  
She wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her shirt and turned around.  
  
"WHAT??"  
  
"What just happened? Are you ok?" He was right beside her now, patting her gently on the shoulder. Yanagi stared at the soiled floor as her heart hammered against her rib cage.  
  
"Yeah. I'm all right. Must have ate somethin' that didn't agree with me this mornin' Do me a favor, get me a mop. I need to clean up this damn mess."  
  
He didn't say a single word to her as she cleaned up. Yanagi was glad, Itio kept his mouth shut. She didn't feel like listening to another lecture on proper nutrition from her brother. He sat quietly as she paced between the kitchen and the hallway getting rid of all the mess. They were both quiet. She knew what he wanted to say, but on the other hand she really didn't want him to say it.  
  
"I don't know for sure." Yanagi thought to herself as she shut the doors behind her brother and fell on the couch. "It might just be.something else.I'm a good girl. I stay on the pill. It's nearly impossible to." She nursed her lip. "Except that it's been a while since I've taken the damn pill. I didn't think I was gunna need it." She closed her eyes and sighed.  
  
She finally decided to wait a few more days and see. It might have just been something that she ate that particular morning. These were serious accusations that she didn't want to spew on anyone's head without being totally sure. For the first time she actually prayed before going to bed for everything to be ok. She barely fell asleep, and was almost late to the meeting with her students. That was after she threw up. Yanagi became increasingly nervous and a lot more aggravated. This was bothering her. And she hated being bothered.  
  
"I have had it." Itio said after she walked out of the bathroom the fifth morning in a row.  
  
"What?" She stared at him, astounded.  
  
"I have had it with you, Yanagi. If you don't see what's going on, than I'm going to spell it out for you. You're PREGNANT."  
  
Her hands began to shake.  
  
"No. I am NOT, you idiot."  
  
"Yes you are. And stop calling me idiot. You are the idiot, if you're in some sort of a denial about this. Do you know what this is called? It's called morning sickness. Pregnant women experience it in their first trimester."  
  
Yanagi shot him a death glare.  
  
"How wonderful that you know so much about being pregnant" She hissed, giving her shoulders a roll. The muscles on her neck were in tight knots from all the stress she has endured. Itio rolled his eyes and slammed a small parcel on the table.  
  
"Here. If you don't believe me, than maybe this will take you out of your dark age and turn you towards the light."  
  
Her eyes went dark for a moment.  
  
"What the hell is that?"  
  
Itio's lips parted in a grin.  
  
"It's a HPT. For those of you who are not familiar with that term, it's a Home Pregnancy Test."  
  
Yanagi growled. She balled her fists and bared her teeth.  
  
"I'm not pregnant!"  
  
"You're cute when you're in denial."  
  
She folded her arms in front of her chest.  
  
"Whatever. I ain't takin' it."  
  
"Why not? Are you afraid I might prove you right???"  
  
"You ain't gonna prove anythin', Itio! Who the hell gave you the right to tell me."  
  
Her brother got up and walked up to her. His left hand was clutching the small white paper bag.  
  
"Shut up and take it. Or I'll force you to go to the doctor this instant. And if that won't work, I'll notify your team captain and than you'll be forced to see the doctor anyway. Which way would you like it, Yanagi?"  
  
She sized his neck with her eyes, measuring how long would it take her to snap it. But this time, Itio stood firm. He didn't back down until she ripped the bag out of his hands and growled.  
  
"Fucking idiot.Gimme that."  
  
He smiled and patted her on the shoulder, but quickly removed his hand as she snarled at him and growled.  
  
"All right, easy girl, easy. I'm doing this for your own benefit."  
  
Yanagi slammed the door into the bathroom shut, making the glass in the windows shake. Itio rolled his eyes and sighed bitterly.  
  
"I swear.if it wasn't for me.."  
  
She didn't come out for the entire time it took the test to work. Itio waited patiently in front of the bathroom, making sure she didn't try to sneak out. He began to worry about her, when the door opened slowly and Yanagi walked out. One look at her face told all. He was right. She WAS pregnant.  
  
"Yanagi.."  
  
She walked past him as if she didn't see or hear him.  
  
"Yanagi wait.."  
  
She made her way to the kitchen and collapsed on the chair. Her left hand, hanging by her side was clenching and unclenching, making a fist, while the right idly played around with the little plastic tube.  
  
"What did the test say?"  
  
She ignored the sound of his voice, staring at the window.  
  
"What are you going to do?"  
  
Silence. Itio sighed and sat besides her. He carefully removed the plastic tube from her fingers and took a look. The little stretch of white material in a cut out plastic window displayed a plus.  
  
"Yanagi.."  
  
"WHAT???"  
  
The sound of the magnitude and violence of her voice startled him. He growled and looked at her.  
  
"Stop yelling at me. Sheesh. What are you going to do now?"  
  
She grabbed the tube from his hands and balled her palm into a fist, squeezing it so tight he heard the plastic crack.  
  
"Whadaya think I'm gonna do, you dimwit?"  
  
He rolled his eyes and got up.  
  
"I don't need this abuse from you, Yanagi."  
  
She jerked, startling him again.  
  
"Get lost." She growled and bolted out the door. 


	6. Rock me, Baby!

Jiriaya seemed to be in a bit of a Christmas mood when she finally arrived to his hotel room. There was plenty of sake on the table. Jiriaya backed away from the door, letting her in.  
  
"Ah, Yanagi-san" he greeted her cheerfully. "It's.strange to see you here. we weren't up for another date 'till tommorow.Want some Sake?"  
  
Yanagi's eyes went dark for a moment.  
  
"Christmas time soon, ne?" she chuckled "Well yer gonna love yer present."  
  
Jiriaya's eyes lit up.  
  
"Really? What did you get me, Yanagi?"  
  
It took Yanagi all the will power she had to unclench her fist and let the little plastic tube slide out of her hand. They both watched it roll to a complete stop on the glass table.  
  
"This."  
  
Jiriaya uttered a sigh, heavy with disappointment. He was really hoping it would be something sexy she could wear.or maybe it would be something else.  
  
"Uhm..Only girls can use that."  
  
Yanagi folded her arms and tapped her foot impatiently.  
  
"Do you know what it is?"  
  
Jiriaya looked at it closer.  
  
"Of course. It's an H.T.P. But only girls can use it. Unless it's some kind of a new fetish of yours, which in that case I don't think I feel comfortable with this anymore."  
  
Yanagi's eyebrow twitched.  
  
"Look at it, Jiriaya sama! It ain't a damn fetish. I took it."  
  
He stared with a dumbfounded look in his eyes at the piece of plastic. It felt as if someone just hit him over the head with a really heavy rock.  
  
"Uh..uhm..well.You really don't need to take one of these things unless you think you're pregnant and I don't.." he paused. "Oh.shit.."  
  
She stared at him in silence. The weigh of her stare became heavier and heavier with every moment.  
  
"Y.you aren't joking..are you?"  
  
"NO. I ain't jokin'. What? You find this funny? I dun! I took it this mornin'! What kind of a sick bastard would joke like this?"  
  
He raised his eyes at her and their gazes met.  
  
".You're. pregnant?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
"Are you sure it's mine?"  
  
"YES!!" Yanagi screamed as her eyes turned from green to red "I AM POSITIVE!! How DARE you ask me that??? It can't be anyone else's. Yer my first encounter in two years."  
  
"I'm going to be a .father?" His voice shook.  
  
Yanagi shot him a half sarcastic glare.  
  
"Yah." She answered in a grim tone of voice.  
  
"Ah. Ok."  
  
Jiriaya answered and started falling back. For a split second, Yanagi looked completely lost. But even in domestic situations, Yanagi was still a first class Jounin. She caught him by the collar of his shirt and began shaking him.  
  
"Nosensei.hereallyisevil" Jiriaya mumbled, as if asleep. Yanagi shook him harder. When that didn't work, she slapped him across the face in hopes to wake him up. Jiriaya's non-responsiveness began to really piss her off.  
  
"God damn it, wake up wouldya? Some damn Sennin you are."  
  
She raised her hand to hit him again when he suddenly opened his eyes.  
  
"Ow.Oh.Hey Yanagi.You know I had this crazy dream where you said you were pregnant and I..oh..shit.."  
  
She let go of his shirt.  
  
"Would you STOP actin' like a damn baby? This ain't the time to be cute!"  
  
Jiriaya's began to panic. His eyes became unfocused as he looked all around the room without looking for anything in particular.  
  
"Ok..ok..don't panic.. don't panic.I.Great Jiriaya.Crap..Yanagi..are you going to keep it?"  
  
She closed her eyes and rubbed the back of her neck in a nervous gesture. Jiriaya waited for an answer.  
  
"Ugh.. I dunno. I'm not exactly good with children.. Or teenagers.. Or.. . I can barely keep myself from killin' those damn Kage brats.. and they're hardly children.."  
  
"So.. does that mean you aren't going to keep it?"  
  
She shot him a death glare.  
  
"I dunno.. why? You're hopin' I ain't gonna keep it, aren't ya?"  
  
Jiriaya backed up.  
  
"No..I mean..that's.. " He sighed. " I like kids, Yanagi. I loved them back when I was a Sensei. I was also younger back than.. I'm .. I'm not cut out to be a dad.. but it doesn't matter because I'll have to support you in whatever choice you're going to make on this matter.. I.. I mean.. it's not like I have a choice.. " Jiriaya mumbled something else about other Sennins mocking him but all of that fell short of Yanagi's hearing. The beautiful Sand Jounin sighed with slight aggravation.  
  
"Ya know ya aren't helpin'? Haven't ya been in this situation before? I ain't no naïve girl ya know."  
  
He shook his head.  
  
"This is going to sound really bad but uhm.. I never stuck around long enough to see the end results of my.. uhm.. activities.. "  
  
She scowled at him.  
  
"Ya know for a Sennin you're so damn irresponsible, Jiriaya-sama. For all ya know there could be kids runnin' around that are yours."  
  
"That isn't my fault!! And I use protection.. Mostly!!"  
  
"Well protection OBVIOUSLY broke!!" She mocked him.  
  
He fell into the chair, right next to hers.  
  
"I don't know.. " Jiriaya's heartbeat began coming back to normal "Given my age.. and that I never met any of them.. Well.. I thought I wasn't capable of having them."  
  
Yanagi snorted.  
  
"Well that's the most stupid thing I've ever heard an' it's comin' from a Sennin."  
  
He was about to make a snarky remark but she interrupted him.  
  
"Ugh.. You ain't fit to be a father.. and I.. I ain't fit to be a mother.. But.. I can't kill it." She rubbed her forehead in a nervous gesture that brought a faint smile to Jiriaya's lips.  
  
"Well.. maybe there's someone who'd take it.."  
  
Yanagi shrugged her shoulders.  
  
"Well if there is, they need to be from another village 'cus.. "  
  
"Why? A child of a genius and a Sennin.. that must count for something.. I'm sure that any.."  
  
"That ain't the reason!"  
  
She interrupted him angrily.  
  
"It's just.. You don't live in your village right? So it won't matter if the kid grows up there.. But here.. It'll be hard to pass by a boy or a girl, everyday, that looks exactly like me and pretend I dunno who they are.."  
  
Jiriaya rubbed the back of his head.  
  
"Well.maybe.maybe I'll see if there's anyone in the leaf that'd be willing to."  
  
"What about that old teammate of yers.. ya know.. what's her name.. Tsu.. Tsunami?"  
  
"Tsunade???" Jiriaya panicked "NO! She'd kill me. She'd never let me live it down. She'd probably say "no" just to spite me!!"  
  
Yanagi raised an eyebrow.  
  
"She'd kill ya? Cuz yah had a kid? That's hardly a reason to kill.. anyone."  
  
"Well she would! She'd say 'Oh great Jiraiya! You always were a pervert with an irrepressible dick! And now it's paid off! Well I hope you're happy!" ..and then she'd kill me so that the kid didn't have to live with the shame of knowing who its father was!!"  
  
She smiled softly. It was the most unusual to see her smile like that.  
  
"I didn't think you were that bad" she answered.  
  
"Yeh. Well. Uhm.. " Jiriaya hung his head. "I'm sorry Yanagi. This is very different from the choices I end up usually making.. I really don't know what to do."  
  
She sighed and got up.  
  
"Yes. Well. Neither do I. Even though you were my first.."  
  
"WHAT??? YOUR FIRST??? But you said.. YOU SAID!!!.. Oh dear GOD!!!!!" The last three words he whispered as he began slowly falling down. Yanagi responded quickly and caught fainting Jiriaya once more.  
  
"Kuso!!" She cursed under her breath as she shook him "I meant to say you were my FIRST encounter in the past two years.. I didn't mean yer my first guy.. Sheesh.. I'm really not THAT pathetic."  
  
"Hey! What's that suppose to mean?" Jiriaya opened one of his eyes.  
  
She let go.  
  
"Nothin'. Why does it matter anyway?"  
  
"It's not THAT bad than.."  
  
"Not THAT bad?"  
  
Jiriaya cautiously watched her, as Yanagi's eyes flickered.  
  
"What are ya babblin' 'bout? Dun tell me that if yer a girl's first yer hafta propose to.. uhg.. marry 'er? Is that how things are done in Konohagakure?"  
  
"Hell no! If I was your first in Konoha I'd run like hell."  
  
She nursed her lower lip.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Lots of reasons. Clinging girls.. enraged parents."  
  
Yanagi rubbed her forehead again. All this did was make her even angrier and even more lost in the current situation. She couldn't understand why this had to happen. Of course she couldn't completely blame Jiriaya for what has happened. It was her own decision to get off the pill about a year ago. The last "encounter" with the male half was so incredibly lousy and so unsatisfying that after pummeling her partner into the dirt she decided it would be better if she swore off having sex with men. She didn't become a lesbian. She just didn't want to have sex. Not anymore. And, the pill she was on was giving her mood swings. Yanagi looked at pale Jiriaya and decided against volunteering that information to him.  
  
"Is it a boy.. or a girl?" He suddenly asked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Is it a boy or a girl?"  
  
She shrugged.  
  
"I dunno. I haven't been to the doctors."  
  
"Well you should know be.. .. wait.. .. you haven't been to the doctors?"  
  
Yanagi rolled her eyes, annoyed.  
  
"No. An' I ain't goin'."  
  
"Yanagi.. You have to. Please. You have to make sure that it's ok. For better or for worse this is MY child.. and I want it to be ok. You have to go. Just maybe to make sure that it doesn't have five heads or isn't part sand.you know.. You can think about what you want to do with it later. You have nine months."  
  
"Five heads? What kind of a monster are ya takin' me for??" She growled angrily. "I ain't goin' to a doctor. I ain't gonna be taken off the anbu duty 'cus of this stupid mishap."  
  
Jiriaya frowned.  
  
"This might be a mishap.. " he paused. "But it isn't stupid.. " He added quietly. "And you're going to be taken off your duty anyway when your stomach gets big enough."  
  
Yanagi rose to her feet with a jerk.  
  
"Well it ain't yet." She stated. "And until than.. Ugh.. I'm goin' for a walk."  
  
"Wait.. "  
  
She stopped with her hand on the door handle.  
  
"What?" Her eyes shot him a hard glare.  
  
Jiriaya quietly nursed his lip.  
  
".. Nothing.."  
  
She scowled.  
  
"Ya were gonna say somethin', so spit it out!"  
  
He sighed once more.  
  
"If it's a boy.. can I name him after one of my students?"  
  
"Your.. student?" Yanagi's eyes thawed. She let go of the door handle and turned completely around.  
  
"Yeh. Yondaime. The one who died saving the village from the demon fox."  
  
She thought for a moment.  
  
"S.. Sure.. What was his name?"  
  
"He didn't have the best name in the world.." He chuckled. The chuckle came off bittersweet. " So I was thinking maybe.. Yon or something."  
  
"Yon?" Yanagi sounded surprised. "Well he'll get teased a lot."  
  
"Maybe not.. not Yon.. but.. if it's a girl maybe Yonko or if it's a boy.. Yonzuka or something."  
  
"Sure." She sighed. "I ain't gonna be around to raise him, I sure ain't gonna pick his name."  
  
"You know.. Yanagi.."  
  
"mmm?"  
  
Jiriaya's lips spread in a grin.  
  
"Pregnant women can have sex until their third trimester."  
  
Yanagi's eyebrows flew up. But she was surprised enough as to where she didn't know how to react. Pummel him to death or simply laugh.  
  
"I'll.. .. keep that in mind.. " She mumbled as she exited his hotel room. 


End file.
